Whew, that was tough.
It took me a long time to move from “I take pictures,” to “I am a photographer.” Some part of me feels like there should be an application process to prove I’m qualified, or some criteria out there that I can check off to feel confident that what I’m saying is true.
But, no, instead I had to dig deep and face my monsters – the ones that say that I can never be anything – just to admit that, no, I don’t JUST hit the button, I compose, communicate, handle all the settings myself, choose my effects, see the world differently, and whatever else you want to throw in there to become a Photographer. Somewhere along the line my pictures went from being “snaps” to being “photography.”
I did it, though. I can say it, without flinching or scuffing my toes in the dirt like a liar – I can look people in the face and say “I am a photographer.”
But now I’m struggling with what I think of as the next step. Going from “I am a photographer” to “I am an artist.” Is what I do REALLY Art? Art has always been this mystical Other kind of thing that I never really understood. I know emotions have colors because I’ve been told they do, I don’t know it instinctively. I suppose it’s near to instinctive, now, but it didn’t used to be. I don’t automatically think outside the box, I’m not all that creative. If you sit me down and tell me to create Art, I will become overwhelmed by the terror of a blank page. I don’t know what to do. I’m just someone who sees things and captures them in a way that tells their story. I am a Photographer. But am I an Artist?
Can I be a Photographer without being an Artist? Did I just insult all the other photographers out there by even asking the question? Will I end up on the blacklist now? Are some Photographers Artists and other Photographers not? Isn’t that the same kind of stuff that separates “I take pictures,” from “I am a Photographer?” What other criteria is there?
I don’t know. I just know that Artists are these amazing, wonderful, otherworldly beings and they don’t really care for me that much.
Am I an Artist? Do I want to be one?
Well, crap. Flickr didn’t give me enough notice – you know, a month – before my pro account expired, so I didn’t have the time to make the money to renew my account. TOTALLY sucks! But as those of you who are familiar with my sites, my galleries lead to Flickr slideshows and I’ve been using Flickr to sort, order, and display my portfolio for years. So, until I can get my pro account back, my websites are going to be all gimpy, and I apologize for that.
It’s really frustrating.
If things go well, I’ll have it back up on the 6th of June, if not, it’ll be the end of June. Please bear with. I’m not posting this on my “professional” site, though, because I’ve been advised to stay the picture of professional over there. I also use the Flickr app to show off my portfolio on my phone. Now I can’t gratuitously impress myself with my own photography. LOL
Now I gotta find a picture for this post without using Flickr to do it….
So I’ve decided that not only will this be the home of my ‘unconventional’ photography, but it will also be a place for me to talk about all aspects of me as an artist, which includes some personal searching, pondering, question asking, and random updates that I think are vaguely interesting. I hope you are entertained and enjoy it!
Today, I wanted to talk about Belly Dance. I’ve been dancing for… errrr… since I was 18. When I was younger and cuter, I used to dress like a gypsy/hippy and people were always asking if I was a belly dancer – so I decided to take a class and I’m SO grateful for that! I love it so much!
But the last couple years I haven’t been dancing much and, let’s face it, I’ve gained ‘some’ weight. So a few weeks ago I decided that, to help my weight and my sciatica, I’m going to start dancing again. But before I start dancing, I’m going to get myself back in shape by doing Yoga. Right now, I’m putting off yoga.
I know it’s good for me, but I just get frustrated that my body doesn’t move the way that it used to. I feel so gawky, uncoordinated, and ungraceful. I know the only way to get past that is to start moving, but it’s a hard thing to overcome! AND it’s supposed to be 102 degrees today and it’s already 90 degrees outside. SO gross!
But I made a deal with my friend – she’s going to work on her final for her doctorate level class and I’m going to do 45 minutes of yoga. Yup. Any minute now.
Okay! So, I’ve been advised by a few different sources that I should not advertise my portraiture in the same place I show off my Hot Rods, Pin Ups, and Nightmares. So, I’m reviving this old blog, kicking new life into it, and now it’s going to be Educated Savage – Savagery! Where you can find the wicked, the cool, the savage, the deranged, and the wild! Hope you all enjoy!
I’m starting to get antsy about shooting. I hate the summer. It’s so hot and yucky all the time and it’s been so gosh-darned humid all the time. Pretty miserable, all in all, really. So I haven’t been going out to shoot and I’m pretty sure you aren’t interested in all the kitty cat pictures I’ve been taking.
I’ve been brainstorming again. I love creative projects! I especially love fantasy and horror projects, like the one featured here. You can see more in my Dreamscapes and Nightmares gallery. I guess part of me is looking for inspiration. Not that I don’t have ideas, it’s just that I have SO MANY I don’t know where to start – and I’m trying to figure out the “how” part, as well.
I hope you guys are enjoying the summer! I’ve seen some beautiful pictures!
Okay! So I noticed a couple visitors came over here from HotRodTramp.com, so I went ahead and put up my hot rod pictures and my pin up pictures – they have their own galleries on the site now! Both of them are totally safe for work – the pin ups are done in a retro style, so the ladies are fully clothed – even if they don’t look it. 😉